January 11, 2014
It's currently 7:15AM. And while it isn't that early, I know I should be sleeping because we fell asleep around 5:00. But here I am, wide awake. In awe of all that surrounds me. Running off love and adrenaline. Matt, Olivia, and I are still at the hospital and should be able to go home today.
I think back to just a few days ago. I was still working, running, errands, and walking my neighborhood trying to help Olivia get here faster. I wasn't incredibly uncomfortable or in dire need to have her. I just wanted to meet her. I wanted to start being her mom with her in my arms instead of my belly. That very night, things started to change.
I started noticing contractions around 8:00 Wednesday night. Nothing major. In fact, I wasn't even sure they were contractions. I went to bed and kept having them while I slept but still noticed them. By midnight, I started timing them and by 1:00 AM, I had woken Matt to tell him that my contractions were five minutes apart. I called the nurse in Labor and Delivery to give her an update and see what I should do. She suggested a warm bath and to keep timing them and when they got a little closer and more intense, to come in. Matt and I got to the hospital around 4:30 AM with my contractions holding steady at about 5 minutes apart. The only problem, I was only dilated to 2cm.
They kept me at the hospital for about 4 hours while they decided if they wanted to admit me or not. Matt and I walked the halls, I sat on the birth ball, and I took a long bath. They finally decided to send me home with an injection in my butt and instructions to "try and sleep and come back when my labor got worse." I was bummed. Fortunately, the injection knocked me out and I was able to get a little bit of sleep at home before labor really started.
I think it was around 10:30 AM when things really made a change. My contractions were closer and much more intense. I didn't want to go back to the hospital in fear that they would just send me home again. But I also knew the time was coming. After a while of contracting at home, taking another bath, and vomiting from the pain, Matt told me to get back in the truck. The drive back to the hospital was like something you would see in the movies. My seat reclined, feet on the dash, holding onto the handle in back, contractions barely over 2 minutes apart while Matt drove like a maniac to get me to the hospital.
Throughout my pregnancy, I kept saying I wanted to try and have Olivia naturally and without an epidural. But my mind was changed as we drove to the hospital. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it without one. When we checked into the hospital, I was in so much pain that Matt tells me the woman trying to check me in was yelling down the hall to get me a room right away. I was already dilated to 6cm!
We got into my Labor and Delivery room and that's when things for me moved in slow motion. I kept having contractions every 2.5-3 minutes and had to wait for the anesthesiologist to come out of a C-section so I could get my epidural. Finally, she came. Matt was forced to hold me still while I continued to contract so that I wouldn't move while she gave me the epidural. Once I had it, I was checked again...8cm.
Family came to see us, I continued to have contractions (now without pain), they broke my water, and we just waited for the nurse to say when my doctor wanted me to start pushing. Around 5:30 PM, I was told it was time.
I thought the epidural would mean I couldn't feel anything and that they would have to tell me to push. Luckily, I was able to tell when I had the urge and I was able to feel the pressure as Olivia made her way into this world.
Roughly 45 minutes after I started pushing, at 6:16 PM, I heard everyone's excitement start to peak. I opened my eyes and for the first time I was seeing my baby. The one we have waited to meet for so long. She was so beautiful. I never knew I could love so much until that moment. I thought my pregnancy was incredible. I thought I knew how much I loved her while she was in my tummy, but I really had no idea until I laid eyes on her for the first time.
The last 30+ hours have been amazing. I've seen moments of such beautiful, heartfelt, and wonderful love. Olivia has an amazing family and friends. I've fallen so in love with Matt. Seeing him as the father of my daughter is such a beautiful thing. And learning to be her mom is the greatest blessing.
